So wow...life is something else....

recently life is like wow....

I got into rider! YAY! isnt that just awesome....

And i met a guy

that i think that he is amazing....so sweet  cute funny....pretty much all i could want....

and i think that ive really fallen for him like i could possibley love him

that scares me....cause i try not to care about guys cause it only leaves me hurt

i dont think he will but i am willing to take the chance..cause love is a risk worth taking...

wow...have a fallen like truly fallen....i wonder...if i have i mean...wow...i wanna say something to him

but im so afraid to say the words...ill go about it in the right way but it means the world to me....to have him in my life

idk...i just i truly think i love him...oh boy....easy to say it here...but can i say it to him?

I know I havent posted in a while but there are quite a bit of thoughts in my head that I feel if I get out I shall feel better.

I'm getting super tired and annoyed by people who cannot act their age. This is fucking college and the real world, lets try growing up I'm pretty sure that you are ready for it.  So lets stop trashing people and making shit up to make your life better. Also before you go believeing shit that is coming out of peoples mouth why dont you go straight to the source. Thats what I did, and I found out that there is a plethera of people who need to lie to make themselves feel better.  So currently I feel like Ive been bit, and I need to suck then venom outta my life and my viens.(Thanks for that one Britt) So all of you people who are doing me no good but weighing me down, your done. I honestly have so much more going on in my life then to sit and listen to gossip and fighting and letting shit get to me.

Also, if your of the male gender pay close attention to this. Stop chasing girls around that are only easy to get with!  You complain about hurt and heartbreak but the ones that are worth it and wont hurt you or break your heart you dont want because they are too nice.....what the hell.  So then the nice guys dont date because theyve been fucked over by a sex crazed girl.  And the good girls have nothing left but the assholes who only want sex, or they end up single becausee the asshole girls think they are too nice.  So all the good ones that are out there are probably actually single and just to afraid because the ones that are dating are maybe the ones that shouldnt be dating or even procreating which is all they seem to want to do.

Where some bad things have happend...Im trying to remain, some what positive and happy though out it all. I hurt like hell, emotionally but I really am trying not to let it break my spirit. I have learned there is so so much more to life then letting the small bullshit things get to you and break you down. 

Other things are making me really happy and all just kinda worth it. <3 <3

But above all else I try to remain positive, and remember that karma is a bitch....

"So watch me strick a match to all my wasted time as far as im concerned :its: just another picture to burn"

(yes I changed the words only slightly)

I have no words for the horror that was my day. I feel back stabbed, that i cant relay my thoughts to friends with out them turning on me. And twisting my words and making me seem like this horrid person and making pepople be "dissappointed" in me, and wondering if im still currently suitable for the position that i am in.  

Then the people i need the most turn their back on me...or arent around and i just sit and cry cause i have no one..
And i dont know what to do or how to function or make it all better..

Cause it doesnt seem possible i feel like im falling off the edge and im waiting to hit the ground but im spiraling endlessly down this black hole with no bottem...

Why does life need to be so unfair to me and why cant it just for one day one moment be okay....

Im also so sick, and its making me grouchy

Im to busy to take 5 seconds and see the one person that could probally make it all better with just a hug and a smile...when will god give me a brief moment of happiness dont i deserve it?

I didn't know what I would find
When I went looking for a reason, I know
I didn't read between the lines
And, baby, I've got nowhere to go
I tried to take the road less traveled by
But nothing seems to work the first few times
Am I right?

[Chorus:]

So how can I ever try to be better?
Nobody ever lets me in
I can still see you, this ain't the best view
On the outside looking in
I've been a lot of places
I've never been on the outside

You saw me there, but never knew
I would give it all up to be
A part of this, a part of you
And now it's all too late so you see
You could've helped if you had wanted to
But no one notices until it's too
Late to do anything

[Repeat Chorus]

So how can I ever try to be better?
Nobody ever lets me in
I can still see you, this ain't the best view
On the outside looking in
I've been a lot of lonely places
I've never been on the outside

Well its a new year and maybe time to do things differently

2007 is over...and with it i leave it all behind...i dont bring any of the shit that happened into the new year with me

a chance to start over clean slated make a brand new start of it...

a chance to do it right...to get it right 

to try all over again 

cant wait to see what is in store for me
 

So I comepletely forgot I had this..till i was reminded about it....

So I thought that maybe I should post...

Alot has happened in my life...alot of people have come in and out of it..some good some bad some...werid...

But all in all im a pretty happy content person..I just finished a semester at school kinda my final one all the credits i need to graduate have been fulfilled so i can submit my aplication for graduation...

Im in constent pain though from a auto accident i was in i have lower back and hip problems now...

love life = complicated and we will leave it at that...

everything else is pretty much normal wear and tear of everyday life...

Work is work, one year left in the army...then its all said and done...

oh the army how its changed...my home my unit no longer exsist...its a painful reality that i now belong to a new home and i can no longer wear the patch i had grown so use to...its a painful pill to swallow but such is life change is always bound to happen you just need to take it in stride...

Ill post more later this is all i care to say for now...but yeah im alive and doing fine....lol if anyone cared